Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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