After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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