Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
They took my balls.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
