I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
