is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
