it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I need a beard to bite.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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