Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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