she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
the raccoons are back...
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