She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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