Do you still have your period?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
