She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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