do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize