i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
