Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
