how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
