the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
