im gay
i know
yea but for you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
