that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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