This dress was meant to end up on your floor
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
