Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
