wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
