I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize