you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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