every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
