Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
