...so i touched it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
