if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
even my farts smell like vagina
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I think I just sharted jello shots
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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