Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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