I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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