Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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