The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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