So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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