Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
