Sry I called you an 8
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize