Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Alive.
So much puke
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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