I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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