So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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