thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
