Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Drunk is not a location!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
