he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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