just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize