i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
