...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
barbara walters just said penis...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
