I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just pee around me
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
