you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
