im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize