no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
