She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
