she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
