He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
