Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
