break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
