cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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