I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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