Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
