it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
