So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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