you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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