im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
