Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
