Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
