That's intense
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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