How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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